Break My Chains
by DPfruitloop
Summary: Hi, my name is Danny. I don't hang out with friends like most teens do; I haven't in about 4 months. The frustration, guilt, and anger builds and builds until there is nowhere else for it to go, I have to release the pressure. So I cut it out.
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Now, although most of my stories are funny, I enjoy reading angst the most, so I decided that I should write a good 'ol angst. My first story was angst, but I hated where it was going, so I quit it and starting this one. I hated the way I wrote that one, but I plan on continuing this one till the end if enough people review on it and give me advice, but no haters please!**

**Danny Muse: ANGST, ANGST, ANGST, ANGST!**

**Me: ANGST!**

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**Chapter 1**

In this world there is pain beyond belief. The one that we humans seem to rationalize the most is the physical pain. A broken bone, the stub of a toe, these are the pains that we can SEE. These to us seem normal, they make sense. But there is pain deeper than that of the physical kind. There is a pain that brings you to your knees. A pain that makes you scream out in pure agony when the sun is shining on a seemingly perfect day, a weight that refuses to lift from your already burned shoulders; mental pain, the pain which has buried itself into your very being.

Hi, my name is Daniel James Fenton; but my friends call me Danny. I am 14 years old and go to Casper High School in Amity Park, Ohio. I'm nothing special to the naked eye. I am short, have jet black hair and navy blue eyes. I'm considered a nerd or geek among my peers, and I have only two friends, but they mean the world to me. Those friends are Samantha Manson (but she will kill you if you call her Samantha, and would prefer to be called Sam) and Tucker Foley.

Tucker is your classic geek. Big black glasses don his dark colored face, and he wears a red colored hat. He is interested in anything and everything to do with technology, and can hack into just about any system. It's pretty cool actually.

Then there is Sam- and let's just cut to the chase, she is a hot freaking mess. Don't you DARE tell her I said that or she will KILL me! I'm not even kidding you…she will. I mean it though! Her violet eyes framed by that onyx hair…she's a picture out of a storybook…I swear if you tell her though, you are dead.

I have a pretty good family too. My mom, Maddie Fenton, is the best mom a kid could ever want. She is always caring for about every living thing (well except ghosts but they aren't alive so they don't really count…well most of them aren't alive…) and she puts up with my dad, which I have to give her brownie points for, as he can be insufferable at times.

My dad, Jack Fenton, is the goofiest guy around. He is always doing something interesting, whether it is playing with action figures, knitting, or blowing something up in our lab he is always doing something. He can be a bit unbearable at times, but he is a caring father and will step up in his game if need be.

My sister, Jazz Fenton, is the future therapist of our family. She loves 'studying' people, and will talk about physiology to just about anyone and everyone who listen. Don't get me wrong, when push comes to shove she can be a very kind and approachable person, just don't get her going if you aren't prepared to hear the duration of her long winded speech.

Me? As I said before, I am nothing very different then you with appearances. The biggest one though, is my alter ego Danny Phantom. I'm half ghost you see, due to an accident in my parent's ghost lab earlier this year; I gained the ability to transform from human to ghost in the blink of an eye. Don't get me wrong, it's cool. I mean, who wouldn't think it was cool to be able to fly around, shoot beams of ectoplasm from your palm, go invisible and intangible, scream so loud that it destroys an entire street, and have ice powers on top of that? It's pretty amazing, but it comes at a cost. You see, our town is plagued with more than the occasional ghost attack, so me being the only one who has the power to stop them, am forced to give up the little time I have available to sending the ghosts back to their realm known as the Ghost Zone. (My parents… they aren't quite suitable for catching more than the occasional ghost entity. If you live with them as I do you would understand what I mean by that.)

Anyways, my life is a dramatic hassle, more than that of the average teen. I wake up around 3am to catch a ghost that strayed a little too close to home, come back home around 5am and fall back asleep for another hour before Jazz wakes me up. Then I grab a granola bar as I run out the door to school, miss the bus, and end up flying there. Around 3rd period a ghost shows up and I have to skip practically the entire class as I try to catch it, reasoning my F in Mr. Lancer's class. Then there is a ghost at lunch, so I don't get to eat ANYTHING, and then there is a ghost last hour so Miss. Tetslaff is ready to choke me to death when I randomly disappear in the middle of P.E. and don't return until there is only 5 minutes left of class. I head home with Sam and Tucker after class gets out and head up to my room after greeting my parents. I then transform into my alter ego and fly out the window and go on ghost patrol until 7pm, where I quickly fly into my room as mom is walking up the stairs to get me for dinner. After dinner I try as hard as I can to finish what homework I can before a ghost attacks again and I have to go and deal with it. All in all I end up going to bed around midnight and that is without even finishing my homework. So after a night of tossing and turning with nightmares of my past, I wake up and do it all over again.

So as you can see, my life is hectic, and not for the faint of heart. Especially if you can't stand the sight of a wound, for I can tell you I see gruesome ones upon my very body daily, even more so as of late.

On the weekends when I have even a moment to spare, I don't hang out with friends like most teens do; I haven't in about 4 months. The pressure of my life catches up to me on the weekends and I feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and it kind of is. I get angry at everyone for not helping themselves, guilty for feeling that way, frustrated that my life is what it is, and the frustration, guilt, and anger builds and builds until there is nowhere else for it to go, I have to release the pressure.

So I cut it out.

I cut out the anger. I cut out the guilt. I cut out the frustration. I replace the grater pain with a lesser pain. Blood pools as it flows down my arms and legs and I feel free. I feel as if the great chasm in my heart is filled for those glorious few moments, before it sinks back in.

It has been this way for at least 5 months, to the point I had to replace my red and white tees with long sleeved shirts. I earned a few curious stares the first day I did, but people took it as a mere change of attire and left it at that.

They don't see my tears, my pain, and my cries. They don't see my cuts, so how are they to know? And if they did know, would they even care. No, they wouldn't, instead they would give me grief and tell me to kill myself. If only they knew that I saved their sorry butts every day…

So here I sit, in Mr. Lancer's class as he blabbers on about Shakespeare, wondering when this is going to end, if it's going to end, if I can be saved. Suddenly, my ghost sense goes off and I sigh and ask to use the bathroom. Mr. Lancer grudgingly allows and I sulk to the classroom's exit and sigh.

Here we go again…maybe it won't be a hard ghost?

It's never that easy though is it? I sigh again as I recognize the ghost being as Skulker and I dunk behind a tree as I transform into Danny Phantom. I fly up to eye level and don't even bother exchanging my usual witty banter- as I am not feeling all that witty today and simply beat the crap out of him. He responds by throwing a rather sharp knife at me, which skims my leg. The knife however, barely fazes me and I simply continue on with my battle in a blur until I have successfully captured him in the Fenton Thermos.

I sigh again and go invisible and intangible and fly into the janitor's closet. I pull out a first aid kit which I had previously hidden within one of the many blue buckets and I patch up my leg's cut, noting the multitude of scars already placed there by my doing, and I wonder to myself if I will ever be free.


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! ^.^ I know this subject is a rather dark one, but I wrote this because I think it is something that gets brushed off as unimportant or stupid. People don't realize why people self-harm or become depressed, and I think it's just awful when I see someone who gets made fun of for it. **

_**Danny Muse: Shame on you if you made fun of someone for that crap! Common, y'all love me even when I'm moody- so love all the moody and sad people you meet. You don't know what they are going through!**_

**Me: True story.**

_**Danny Muse: True story.**_

**Me: Okay thank you all for reading this, and please comment!**

_**Danny Muse: C-O-M-M-E-N-T...please and thank you? =)**_

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**Chapter 2**

In our world there are tears, cries and sufferings. Although we as humans tend to pretend that these things do not exist. Even when the storm clouds are obviously forming, we deny it. We say there shall be sun, and we live under the false delusion that this world is perfect; but it isn't, and we are fooling our very selves when we put ourselves in that set of mind. The world isn't perfect, the world is a dark an cruel place, and we are the beings who simply try to survive it's dark reign.

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**Sam's POV**

I lift my head up as I hear the sound of the wooden classroom door opening, and I pray beyond hope that it is Danny; he misses so much of school that I worry that his 'talent' is going to prevent him from succeeding in his future goals…you know…like how a friend worries about a friend…that's it.

I smile as I see the short yet lean boy enter the classroom, but then my smile quickly turns around when I see what state he is in. His eyes look lifeless and his onyx hair was a tangled matt. He is slouching and his face is pale. I notice he is slightly limping as well.

All these things however go unnoticed by Mr. Lancer. Danny has learned how to hide things so well, that to the untrained eye he merely appeared to have had a restless night of sleeping rather than have gotten fresh out of a battle. Mr. Lancer was only surprised that the 'troublesome' teen had returned to his classroom rather than ditching the rest of the period, much as he had first predicted. The teacher excuses Danny to his seat next to me and I watch him make his way to it. He flops down unceremoniously into it, and I become even more worried as Danny stares blankly at the whiteboard.

Danny has been acting strange the past few months. I know what you are thinking; he is a half-ghost hybrid, of course acting weird! But those first few months as a half-breed, he acted different than this. He was still Danny. He was sarcastic, goofy, and an all around fun guy to be around. But this all changed a few months ago. He became easily agitated, darker, and secluded. He looked somber often, as if he was trying to hold something back. I asked him if he was okay multiple times, and every time he put on an obviously false smile on his face. I was getting very concerned, and Tucker was as well. And what was up with him and the long sleeved shirts? I know that style choices change in people but that was so abrupt from his usual clothing attire, that it makes me wonder if he is hiding something, if he is then what? What is Danny hiding?

I look over at Danny and notice that he is now glaring at his paper as if it was the devil itself. His face is twisted up into a demented snarl, and he looks as if he is suppressing the urge to beat the living crap out of the thing.

Tucker and I will have to talk to him about this after school.

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**Danny's POV**

I slam my math book shut violently and bolt out the door the moment that the bell rings. I am physically shaking from trapping in all the pain throughout the day, and I need to escape. It's Friday…so maybe I can start parole later, so I can have some 'me time'? Or maybe I could skip one night… I mean what is one night? I sigh and shake my head, no, people are counting on my and I can't slack off even if I am living a life full of pain. Why is the world so brutally cruel to me? It is painful and too much for me to bear.

I wish I was dead.

Why was I born?

The world would be better off without me.

I'm not worthy of life.

Nobody cares.

I should kill myself; it would do everyone a favor.

"Hey Danny," I jump comically when I hear a voice behind me and spin around with my hand held in a fist. I relax however when I notice that the voice was only Tucker.

"Whoa man! Chill!" Tucker cried out as I nearly punched him out of fear. I sigh and roll my eyes.

"Sorry dude, you scared me." I say monotonously.

"Yeah you should be…," I glare at Tucker but he is oblivious, or is simply ignoring it, "Anyways, Sam is waiting out front for you to come walk home with us so…common." I roll my eyes at him again. Honestly he can be so downright annoying. Why won't he just leave me alone so I don't have to put on my mask?

I grunt as I walk out the front of the school and stare at my feet. I nearly bump into Sam and apologize to her quietly in a murmur. She rolls her eyes, but underneath her stony expression I can see she is worried and I mentally groan to myself.

She is SO going to lecture me out.

We begin to walk and I wait for her to begin her lecture, and I notice that Tucker is biting his lip nervously. I am pretty confident that he is in on this as well.

Great…

Honestly I don't know what their problem is. I mean sure, I might not be the happiest guy around- but that doesn't make me in need of an intervention. I groan in frustration. Good grief, they really need to learn to mind their own business. I shudder to myself as I think of how they would react if they ever found out about my 'release'. They would freak.

I would die if they ever find out…

"Hey Danny," Sam starts and I roll my eyes- here we go, "Both me and Tucker have noticed that you have been acting a little different lately…," Sam bites lip, "and we wanted to know if something is up. Please talk to us Danny, you have been so distant and I'm worried about you, Tucker is too. Please just talk to us!" Sam looks at me with an expression of pure pleading and worry, and I feel my blood boil.

What right do they have to tell me how I should act? If I want to be distant I will be! If I want to be moody I will! I don't hound after them whenever they are upset! Gosh what friends are they? Why won't they just leave me alone!

"I'm. Fine." I spit at her, and she looks at me slightly offended. Tucker decides at this point he should step in and begins to speak. I clench my teeth in anger as he talks.

"Sam's right Danny, you never want to hang out anymore. You are always locked up in your room and ignore all of our phone calls. Common dude, what's up?" My emotions fly around inside of me violently now. I can't even think straight, and I feel my mask fall.

"OH, I DON'T KNOW WHY! MAYBE I'M ALWAYS OUT HUNTING GHOSTS! MAYBE I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING ELSE! MAYBE I'M STRUGGLING NOT TO FAIL MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL! AND MAYBE, MY STUPID GOOD FOR NOTHING PARENTS TRY TO HUNT ME DOWN EVERY DAY OF MY WORTHLESS LIFE!" I scream in anger and Sam and Tucker stare at me for a moment in surprise. I notice that the three of us have stopped walking but I don't pay it any mind.

"Your life isn't worthless Danny…" Sam whispers looking at me with those same pleading eyes but it doesn't faze me.

"YES. IT. IS! MY LIFE IS A WORTHLESS PILE OF CRAP AND THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME!" I cry out and transform quickly into my alter ego, and fly at supersonic speeds towards my house, leaving behind a very surprised Sam and Tucker. I don't even notice the tears flinging behind me as I fly.

Why me?


	3. Chapter 3

**Me: I wrote this chapter at LEAST 3 times. But each chapter hated me.**

_**Danny Muse: They sucked.**_

**Me: Shut up.**

_**Danny Muse: Nope. :3**_

**Me: *rolls eyes* ANYWAYS I don't like this chapter so much, but still, here ya go.**

_**Danny Muse: Yay! **_

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Chapter 3

I transform into my human half, flying behind a tree as I do so, as I approach my home. I run up the stairs to the front door, and throw it open. My mother greets me, but I ignore her and run up the stairs to my room. I slam the door behind me and collapse on my floor in a fit of tears. They are silent tears however, so none would hear. I shut my eyes; the pain is so completely overwhelming that I can't breathe. It is as if I am drowning in complete and utter despair.

"Why me?" I whisper softly to myself as I sob, "Why does my life have to be a living hell?"

I shake my head and sit up, wrapping my arms around my legs as I do so, and bury my head in my arms. Why do I have to endure this pain, this eternal suffering? I slam my fist down on the ground as a new fountain of tears is awoken.

"God, I just hate myself!" I whisper pitifully and bite my lip, and my eyes are drawn to my bottom dresser drawer. It wouldn't hurt… would it? It would make the pain go away… It would all be better…

I find myself walking towards the drawer in a haze, as if I'm dreaming. I throw the drawer open and dig through the sloppily folded clothes until I find it. I hold it up, the light of my lamp shining off its razor sharp edge, giving it an unearthly glow. I smile at my best friend, and worst enemy.

"Save me…" I whisper to it, as I draw up my sleeve, and it complies. The silver intertwines with crimson, as it dances it's beautiful ballet. The red dances away from the silver as I bring it across my left forearm, smiling in relief as I do so.

Drip, Drop.

My worries are washed away with the crimson. Yelling at my friends, ignoring my mom, all my absences and missing work in school, the pressures of being a half- ghost, my parents hating my ghost half, not being good enough, it is all forgotten as I watch the ballet.

Red, Silver, Red, Silver. Drip, Drop.

My vision blurs, and I smile in relief. Freedom…at long last I have you! I look down at my left forearm, and my smile slowly fades. 6 fresh cuts greet the already scarred skin. My face becomes emotionless as I stare at the scars and cuts in anger. I am wracked with guilt.

How can I be doing this? If my loved one's ever find out it will kill them. I hate myself. I am a despicable human being. Why do I have to live like this, I wish I was dead. Why do I have to resort to cutting?

I'm a failure.

I growl as I stare at the blood covered blade. I hate it. I hate that this is my friend. Some friend…I hate it so much. I throw the stupid thing back into my drawer and slam it shut.

"I hate you." I spit at it and stomp away grumbling to myself. I stomp over to my bed and pull out my first aid kit (I had bought it after I started ghost fighting) and my towel. The towel was once white, but now was completely immersed in red. I use the towel to soak up the blood that had dripped onto my hardwood floor, and then pressed it against my forearm. I hiss in pain and my eyes water. I chuckle, how ironic I am hissing from the pain of pressing a towel to the wounds that I inflicted.

I throw the towel back under my bed, and then grab a roll of gauze from the first aid kit. I dress my cuts, then put the remaining gauze back in the kit and toss it underneath my bed. I pull my sleeve back over my forearm, and flop onto my bed and cry.

And cry.

And cry.

And cry.

It just hurts so badly. Why can't I be happy? Why can't I be normal? I jump as I hear my door being knocked at. I sit up on my head and dry my tears and look around to make sure I cleaned all my mess up. Once I find myself presentable, I answer and tell whoever it is to come in. I look up, and am greeted by a girl with fiery red hair.

Jazz.

"What's up Jazz?" I ask, putting on my mask. I look into her eyes and notice that she is concerned.

Crap, here comes a lecture.

"Danny are you okay?" She asks and I sigh.

"'mm fine." I say rolling my eyes.

"Are you sure, I thought I heard you crying…" Crap, she heard me.

"I don't cry!"

"Okay… you sure your fine?" I feel my blood boil; this has got to be at least the third time I told her!

"I'M FRIGGN' FINE NOW GO!" I scream and she looks at me shocked. I am immediately filled with guilt, but brush it off. She needs to leave me alone NOW.

"Okay…" She whispers and runs from my room. I groan and slam the door shut. I fall on my bed and cry again, but this time making sure to have my cries are silent.

I hate everything.


	4. Chapter 4

Me: Hey guys you will never believe this! I still exist!

_Danny Muse: Well they WOULD know that if you updated more often._

Me: -.- I know, I'm so lazy.

_Danny Muse: I know right…_

Me: shut up.

_Danny Muse: hey, you're the one who said it._

Me: *rolls eyes* ANYWAYS…here ya go. It's a little longer than normal, but I don't think y'all will be complaining. So um…yeah. Tada!

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**Chapter 4**

I hate this. I hate all of this.

Night has fallen upon Amity Park, and I am alone. Nobody knows how much everything hurts. It hurts to smile. It hurts to laugh. It hurts to move. It hurts to simply exist. I just want to be free from my life. Why do I have to endure this? Why am I lying here in my bed unable to sleep for the second night in a row?

I feel warm tears begin to run down my face, and I stare at my wrist. Cross hatched patterns lay across it, in an unknown pattern. I pull my sleeve down, to hide the memories that they leave. I bury my face into my pillow. Everything hurts. I wish I was dead.

Cold breath travels up my lungs and out my mouth in an icy mist. I stare at in frustration, wishing that I could tear the thing to shreds. I consider simply ignoring it, and letting the ghost have its fun. It's probably just the Box Ghost. However, I know with my luck it is not, and if I don't go take care of the ghost, it will probably destroy half of the town.

I sigh and half-heartedly slide out of bed. This sucks. I glance at my alarm clock, and groan when I see that it is 3 in the morning, wonderful… I sigh again and transform into my ghost half. I open my now neon green eyes, which if one was to look at closely, they would notice that they have dulled, now more forest green than neon green.

I begin to hover, my white boots grazing the ground as I do so. I fly through my open window, and look around and glare pitifully at the ghost whom greets me… Plasmious.

"What do you want Vlad?" I whisper as I glare at him, and I notice how his sly smile begins to fall as he looks at me, and his eyebrows narrow.

"Are you okay?" I am startled by the question. Am I not talking to my arch enemy?

"I'm sorry, I think that I heard you wrong… did you say something that wasn't self absorbed?" I snap back. Honestly, know this guy is has something up his sleeve. There is no way that he actually cares.

"Come now Daniel, you and I both know that although we may have opposite ideas- you cannot deny that I care for your health and well-being… and to be quite honest Daniel, you look like crap." Vlad responded, and I found myself unable to revoke. It was a completely truthful statement after all. He always was asking for me to join him, and I guess that was his odd, fruit-loopy way of saying that he cared for me… despite the fact he still insane. I look down at myself, and realize that he was probably right about me looking like crap. I haven't slept in two days, and have been working my ghostly butt off. I have school tomorrow- and I KNOW that Sam and Tucker are gonna be after my ghost tail when they see how I look. I sigh and glare at my ghostly enemy.

"Please just go… Just go. Take your stupid plans and go." I look at him almost pleadingly, hoping to get my message across. I am tired, and all I want to do is lie down and die. I look into his red eyes, and I see understanding within them, and perhaps a bit of sympathy.

"Daniel… please tell me what's wrong… you look so pale…" Vlad bites his lip as he says this, and I feel my blood boil. Vlad is asking me what's wrong? VLAD!- I wouldn't even tell my two closest friends about my hell of a life, and my arch enemy expects me to tell him? Screw that!

"No." I glare at him, my eyes ablaze with fury. Vlad seems hesitant, but he speaks again.

"Please Danie-"

"NO. Now please just GO!" I narrow my eyes and charge up an ecto-blast, which probably didn't even look that menacing- due to my lack of sleep. Vlad's expression looks hurt, but he puts up a wall so fast that if I hadn't learned to read his expressions so well in our previous fights, I would've completely missed it.

"Very well Daniel, I will set my plans aside for now- but I encourage you to talk to someone… you do not look all that healthy." He looks at me determined, as if he believes honestly that I will do as he says. As if.

"Just scram fruitloop, and leave me alone for the love of god." I spit at him, and the older ghost rolls his eyes, before taking off in the opposite direction. I sigh in relief and fly back into my room, thankful that I could avoid a full blown fight with the older ghost. I am no fool, I know that I would've lost… big time. I transform into my human half, and look at my alarm clock. I am thankful to see that I had only wasted a little under a half hour talking to Plasmious.

I flop onto my bed, and try to get some sleep- before giving up and walking downstairs and turning on the T.V., then flopping down on the worn down leather couch and flipping to a random channel. A commercial for an anti-depressant comes on. Everything is black and white, and a girl is sulking around and crying. I roll my eyes. I really hate these commercials. They always think that only girls can be depressed- and that all depressed people do is cry. What a load of bull. I'm a boy... and I'm depressed...at least I think so. Nobody has come outright and said it...but I can't exactly say what I feel is normal... so I must be depressed right? I may be depressed, but i know that my life is NOTHING like that commercial. I cry, but I also smile and laugh. I hang out with my friends, and I go to school.

The only difference is that I feel like my entire being has been hallowed out.

"Danny?" I turn around and see Jazz at the top of the staircase, looking down at me. I turn back to the T.V. so I can avoid her gaze and then respond.

"Hey Jazz." I say, and I hear footsteps walking towards me, and then feel a weight on the couch cushion next to me. I look over and see that Jazz has sat next to me, and then I look at my feet, unable to meet her questioning gaze.

"What are you doing up?" She asks after a minute, and I sigh.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Is there something wrong?" I snicker at that one. Oh only everything Jazz…only every stupid thing.

"Not really." I lie, and we sit in silence for a moment, the sound of the T.V. in the background, with lights erupting from it- giving the illusion of lighting ageist the black of night.

"Hey Jazz…"I start, feeling the need to apologize for yelling at her earlier.

"Yes Danny?" She turns to me as I look her in the eyes.

"I uh…I'm really sorry for yelling at you earlier. I shouldn't have treated you like that. You are really an amazing sister, and I was a jerk." I reach up and rub the back of my neck. I really was genuinely sorry. I hate it when I yell at people…especially my sister. She is just such a likable person that it's hard to stay angry at her. I watch her facial expression, and know that I am already forgiven when it erupts into a smile.

"It's alright Danny, I know it's not easy to be a freshman in high school, let alone be a half ghost on top of that… I just want to know if something other than that is bugging you. You just seem so… out of it all the time. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I know that something is up." I sigh as I hear her say this. Should I tell her? …no, that would break her heart. However, I don't want to downright lie to her… so I settle on a compromise.

"It's just…stress. Everything is so hard…I'm always running to save someone, running to my next class, running to catch the next ghost, running to go finish my homework… I barely get time to breathe!" I chose my words carefully and look at her, her face understanding.

"I know it must be really hard on you Danny, just remember that I will always be here for you if you need help with studying, ghost fighting, or just need someone to talk to." I smile at her. It really feels good to know that someone cares for me like that…even if it's just my sister.

"Thanks Jazz." I yawn loudly, and Jazz chuckles.

"You should probably head to bed buddy." She giggles and I nod- but still make no move to head to bed. I find my eyes begin to droop, and I lean on her shoulder.

Jazz's POV

I smile at my brother's now sleeping form. His chest slowly rising and falling and a small smile plastered on his usually worried face. I know that something is wrong with him, and more than just stress as he had said, but I also know that getting him to admit it will be a working possess. Sam had called me on Friday, worried that something might be wrong with Danny- and I found myself agreeing with her. Danny has been very distant as of late, and his clothing change was slightly worrisome as well.

I lean forward and whisper into my brother's ear," It's going to be okay Danny…trust me it will.

I watch as his small smile grows, and I am comforted to know that at least a small part of his consciousness understood me. I lean up against railing of the couch, as my eyes begin to droop as well.

"I love you Danny." I whisper as I begin to lose consciousness, and I hear a faint reply.

"I know."


	5. Chapter 5

**Me: Wow… did I disappear off the face of the planet or what?**

_**Danny Muse: You really need to stop doing that; it's bad for your health.**_

**Me: Yeah… anyways, here ya'll go chapter cinco.**

_**Danny Muse: HAHAHA on Cinco de Mayo!**_

**Me: O.o we don't even celebrate that holiday…**

_**Danny Muse: IT'S STILL AWESOME! *Dances with maracas.* OLAY!**_

**Me: …**

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Chapter 5

Happiness is short lived. It is fleeting, and you must grasp it whilst you can, for it its only moments before it slips away, like icy water. Slowly slipping away like the sand in an hourglass, timing your remaining joy. I know this firsthand. The smiles will fade. Your joy won't last, neither will smiles or laughter. These are only short lived cures for sadness.

My hands are in my pockets as I walk to school. Rain is falling from the sky, messing up my already unruly hair. I shut my navy eyes, in the frustration I feel, I am in an almost dreamlike state. It is the only way to get through the day. If I pretend I'm dreaming, then I can live under the false pretense that things are going to get better- despite the fact that I am only fooling myself by doing this. The pain is so completely overwhelming today, I am freely crying now, grateful that the rain is masking my tears. I look up, and notice that I am directly in front of the school… when did I get here?

I shrug and enter the school, shaking my dark matt of hair much like that of a dog when I enter the dry sanctuary, water spraying in all directions. I hear a chuckle, and I look up and see that Sam had been watching me. I roll my eyes, and chuckle a bit, imagining that I probably did look a bit foolish.

"Hey Danny, how are you doing?" Sam asks, and I look at her, confused as to why she isn't asking millions of questions as she did on Friday. Sam sees my confusion and elaborates.

"Danny…I'm sorry about Friday. It was wrong for Tucker and me to approach you like that. I know that if something was wrong, you would tell us." Sam looked at me and smiled, and I felt overwhelmed with guilt. Some friend I was. Telling my friends the truth…

"Actua-" I start, but I find myself interrupted.

"FENTON!"

I turn away from Sam, and I sigh when I see the bulky jock known as Dash Baxter shove his way through a group of students as he made his way to me. Dash's eyes were narrowed, as he glares at me. It is only seconds until he is directly in front of me, standing about a full head taller than me. I look up at him monotonously, not having the will or energy to care about what crap he was going to yell at me for this time.

"FENTON!" Dash screams again and I roll my eyes at him.

"I think that we have established my name…" I say, rolling my eyes. I am greeted with a smack to my cheek. I glare at him, the smack not even fazing me. Dash didn't seem to notice that however.

"YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP SHUT YOUR GOOD FOR NOTHING TRAP UP!" Dash screames in my face, and out of the corner of my eye I can see Sam storming up to him. This isn't good.

"HEY DASH! Leave him alone!" Sam yells, and Dash shoves her aside, thus, pissing me off.

"DUDE! Common! Leave her alone!" I yell, and Dash laughs.

"You two are the ugliest couple in the world." He spits at me, and slams me against a row of lockers. I take the beating; I know that I deserve it. He leans over and whispers in my ear.

"You are a worthless piece of crap. You should go kill yourself. Nobody will EVER care about you. I know I don't, she doesn't, and I bet that even you don't. Do the world a favor and just DIE." He spat he last part harshly, then threw me across the hall, I hiss in pain when my head collides with another set of lockers, leaving a descent sized dent in it. I watch in surprise as Dash comes and kicks my hard in the ribs a couple times, before Kwan drags him away, telling him that I wasn't worth it.

"DANNY!" I look over and see Sam running over to me. "Danny! Oh my god are you okay!"

"I'm fine Sam…" I try to get up, but Sam holds me down. I look at her confused. Why won't she let me get up?

"Danny, just hold on okay? Can somebody get a teacher?" Sam shouts, and I look and see that a group had formed around us. Tucker, I noticed, was part of the group and ran to grab a teacher. A few seconds later, he returned, dragging a surprised Mr. Lancer along with him.

"Honestly Mr. Foley, I don't see what's so- LORD OF THE FLIES! Mr. Fenton! What on earth happened?" Mr. Lancer says with shock. I shake my head, and then feel a sharp pain and hiss. I put a hand up to it, and then blink in surprise when I feel something sticky and wet. I draw it back and am surprised to see it covered with blood.

"Holy crap…" I whisper as I stare at it with surprise. Dash had never beaten me THIS bad… wow, no wonder Sam wouldn't let me stand.

"Move out of the way people!" Mr. Lancer cries as he shoves his way through the mob of students. I try to sit up, so I can get a better look at him, but when I try my vision blurs and I feel sick. I shut my eyes and moan in pain. Great… a concussion… today is just wonderful isn't it!

"Mr. Fenton, can you look at me?" Mr. Lancer says with worry, and I try to focus on him, but everything is blurred, a mess of colors. His words are muffled as well, as if he is underwater.

"Huh?" I reply, not really comprehending what he is saying. I feel my hearing beginning to go out as well, and I start to become groggy. I think that Mr. Lancer saw this, because he tries to talk to me.

"Stay…awake…." Mr. Lancer's words are fuzzy, and I shut my eyes. I just want to go to sleep; I'll feel better once I sleep…

"Dash…I'll…nurse…" What's Sam talking about? Why does it even matter? …g'night world…

I give up on fighting sleep and give into the welcoming sensation.

* * *

"Danny…Danny…Wake up honey…" I open my groggy eyes and see my worried mother's violet eyes staring back at me. She smiles when she sees that I have awakened, and runs a hand through my onyx hair.

"Hey sweetie," She says softly, "How are you feeling?"

"Like a rabid cat chewed me up, and spat me out." I answer honestly, and she laughs.

"Well, at least you're honest…honey, Sam says that Dash did this to you… can you remember?" Mom asks me, and everything comes flooding back to me.

"_You are a worthless piece of crap. You should go kill yourself. Nobody will EVER care about you. I know I don't, she doesn't, and I bet that even you don't. Do the world a favor and just DIE."_

_I feel something sticky and wet. I draw it back and am surprised to see it covered with blood._

"_Dash…I'll…nurse…"_

"Oh um…yeah…ow…my head…" I hiss in pain, and my mom looks at me apologetically.

"I know honey; I'll go get the school nurse okay? You were only out for a little while…about 10 minutes. We can go home then okay?" I nod my head and she smiles, before walking out the door.

I sigh and stare at my feet, allowing them to dance to some unknown rhythm as I attempt to cure my sudden onslaught of boredom. My mind begins to wander, and I can't help but continue to think of that one, awful phrase.

"_You are a worthless piece of crap. You should go kill yourself. Nobody will EVER care about you. I know I don't, she doesn't, and I bet that even you don't. Do the world a favor and just DIE."_

Maybe…maybe Dash has a point.


	6. Chapter 6

**Me: I know what you are all saying, "DPfruitloop! You haven't updated in ages! What's up with ya? WHY YOU NO UPDATE!" Well my wondrous readers, my reasoning behind my late update is quite simple really. I am lazy. Yes, I know that this is quite a shock to all of you. I am LAZY. **

_**Danny Muse: YAY FOR LAZINESS! **_

** Me: Actually Danny, most people consider laziness a BAD thing. **

_**Danny Muse: NOPE! Laziness is SEXY! **_

** Me: -.- you think everything is sexy Danny.**

_**Danny Muse: XD Sexy waffles…**_

** Me: Oh wow… anyways, on with the story, I made it extra long to make up for my lateness!**

_**Danny Muse: Sexy narwhals…**_

* * *

They say that the good things in life are reflected in many ways, through the crisp of an autumn morning, or the smell of a white rose- held by one's beloved. However, the bad that life reflects often seems to outweigh the good that it reflects. Death, sadness, despair, violence, murder, pain, emptiness, fear, loneliness, and anger- these are of the many terrible things that are reflected in our everyday life. The brokenness, the anger, and the frustration fuel our eternal suffering, and we become weak. The darkness cascades over our eyes, blinding us from any light, and any hope. This is the nature of oh so many human beings. You however, may be living in the sunlight, smiling and laughing. Oh would you pause for a moment and notice me, the one whose eyes are covered and is shivering in the cold? Would you save me? Please, for I don't believe that I can live this way for any longer. I cannot pretend to smile anymore, while you dance in the sun, eyes shining with hope. I need some of that hope, some of that will to carry on.

Would you please save me?

* * *

Chapter 6

**Danny's POV**

Time to me is irrelevant. Autumn leaves or summer trees- I do not see the difference, for everything in sight is dark, simply black and white. There is good, and there is bad. Nobody is in the middle. The calendar says about a week has passed since my encounter with Dash, but I do not see it that way. It is not something that I can explain easily… the simplest way to do so would be to state that…that my life is like a dream. I walk, and I get the notion that at any moment, I will wake up and everything will be okay. I remind myself often, that this is a luxury that I do not possess, however if I am to be frank with myself, I believe that it is the only thing keeping me alive. If I live under the false notion that it will all go away, I can find the will to carry on. I know that it isn't the healthiest of habits, but it is something, and something is better than nothing.

Everything only ever seems to get worse, and never gets better. I only wish to smile and have it be meaningful… why is this a luxury in which I cannot indulge? Why am I breaking apart at the seams? Why…just…why? Did I do something wrong, in which I am being punished for in the most brutal of ways? All I have ever tried to do was help people… and all that I have received from it was a whole lot of crap. It just isn't fair. I wish I was dead.

I sigh and look down at my desk, an open book lying before me, and I continue to read the same line over and over, not having even a single word sink into my disturbed mind. I sigh and give up, I don't even recall what book we are reading, or what class I am currently in. All I know is that my life is screwed up, and I don't give a crap about anything else. I shut my eyes and sigh, and then lay my head on the cool desk. I know the teacher won't even try to awake me from my much needed sleep, for all of my educators have given up on me, saying I am a lost cause, not even pausing to dwell on the fact that my life may be full of more crap than they could ever imagine. I hate everything; it's all just so stupid and pointless…why do I even try?

* * *

**Sam's POV**

I look over to my right when I hear a loud thud, and sigh softly to myself when I see that two desks over Danny had thrown his head upon his desk in some unknown dismay. I am scared for him, I truly am. Ever since the 'Dash incident' his attitude had only become even more moody. He doesn't even seem to make an effort to smile anymore, and he always looks so tired… and he's still wearing those stupid long sleeves… and it's at least 80*F today! Most people are in tank tops and shorts! Isn't he hot?

I groan and look over to Tucker across the room, and notice that he was already looking at me. His eyes spoke it all, "We need to do something". I nod at him, and he nods back. I stare down at my open book, _The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet_ and continue to read, knowing that after school, I am going to corner Jazz and have a long, serious talk with her… this cannot continue any longer. We NEED to know what is going on with Danny, and end it. I want my happy go lucky friend back. This just isn't like him…

What's going on with you Danny?

I sprint out of 6th hour as soon as the bell rings, and run as fast as my legs can carry me, I run down the hall, lockers and students a blur behind me. I earn myself a few strange looks, but I disregard them, the only thing on my mind is reaching Jazz, it is vital that she talk to Danny. I would talk to him myself, but it has already been made obvious that he has no desire to speak his feelings out to me, and I don't want him to become even more distant from me than he already is. I figure since Danny and Jazz have such a close relationship, that perhaps he will open up to her a bit more.

I stop for a moment, and take a deep inhale of breath to soothe my tired lungs. I allow my eyes to scan the crowed hallways, and sigh in relief when I spot the familiar flaming red hair, donning a light blue headband. I shove through the mob of students before me, earning myself a few glares. I glare right back; people are so stupid… can't they see I am in a hurry? Why won't they move their stupid butts and stop talking in the middle of the hall?

"Hey, watch it Manson!" A student in front of me shouts as I shove him to the opposite side of the hallway. I give him a glare in which could be comparable to that of the devil.

"OUTTA THE WAY!" I scream and despite the glares I receive, the mob in front of me begins to thin, and I sigh in relief… why it is that high school students have to be so bull headed… well, I know that I am not one to talk…but still. I continue to sprint down the hallway, until I find the mess of ginger hair…all too close. I shut my eyes as I run straight into my best friend's sister.

The two of us scream as we plummet to the ground. The ridiculously high piled stack of books in Jazz's arms skids across the hallway, and the crowd of students merely walk by, some of which stepping on the books. I yell at the morons and retrieve the books for Jazz, apologizing to her as I do so.

"Its fine Sam, really…Is there something you wanted to talk about?" Jazz laughs a little bit at the last part of her sentence as I place the pile of books back into her arms, and I blush in embarrassment, before I recall my reason for running into Jazz in the first place. My expression becomes more serious, and apparently Jazz senses that what I am about to say was of great importance, for her smile slowly falls. We both stand slowly from where we had previously fallen.

"Jazz, I'm really worried about Danny." I sigh, and Jazz nods knowingly.

"I know you are Sam, and I am too, but we will just have to wait until he comes clean on this." Jazz replies. I shake my head; she is less wise than I give her credit for if she believes that this will go away on its own accord.

"Jazz, I think that this is a bit more serious than we thought before… I really think you need to talk to Danny… I know he doesn't want to hear it from me… but maybe from you?" I finish hopefully, only to be crestfallen when Jazz sighs and shakes her head.

"Sam, I know that you think you have Danny's best interest in heart, but if I ask him to tell me what's wrong- then he will just think that I am being bossy." Jazz looks at me apologetically, and although I understand where she is coming from, I can't let this one slide.

"No Jazz, you NEED to do something." I demand, and Jazz sighs and nods her head.

"Alright, I will keep an extra close eye on him, and speak to him about this if the opportunity arises." I nod in acceptance of her words, and sigh in relief as she walks away, and out the doors of the school's west entrance. I know that Jazz will stay true to her promise, and that if anyone could figure out what was wrong with Danny, it would be Danny's older sister.

…but you would have to be absolutely mad if you think that I am not going to be watching him like a hawk.

* * *

**Jazz's POV**

I sigh as I fumble with the keys to my car, my overly large stack of books swaying as I open the car door. I toss the pile of books into the passenger seat, the books deforming from their previously neat stack into a jumbled mess. I look around my car and sigh again as I realize that I should really clean it. How is it possible that a car can get so messy? I suppose that it is simply one of the great unknown mysteries in this world.

As I climb into my overly messy car, I reflect upon my previous conversation with Sam. I know that she is right… I have always known it deep down. As much as I wish he would, Danny doesn't like to come to people with his problems. Instead, he locks them deep within himself… and really it's not all that healthy.

All in all, I am very concerned about Danny's mental health. I look over to the stack of books, the top one on the sea of books labeled oh so appropriately _How to Know if Your Teenage Brother is Depressed; the Future Psychologist's Guide to Mental Illnesses_.

I roll my eyes at the ridiculous title as I begin to drive toward my home. Honestly, authors today seem particularly unable to devise a decent name for their published works. Oh well, I suppose it makes it a bit easier to locate the books that I need… but would it kill them to be a bit more…original?

I shake my head, focusing my mind to think of the problem at hand… yes, Sam is right. I really need to talk to Danny about this. I know that he has an awful lot of stress on his shoulders…between juggling school and ghost fighting, he rarely has any time for himself anymore… and I'm worried that that has become too much for him to handle, he's only 14 after all. I know that he would never admit this to anyone, but I know it's been hard on him.

My hands clench around the wheel in anger as I think of this, oh how I wish that I could relieve some of the pressures which don his shoulders! How is it fair that he is forced to endure this as only a freshman…no teenager should have to go through all this crap alone… heck, no ADULT should have to go through this crap alone… and yet, he does.

I may be unaware of the severity of Danny's issues, but I know that they are there, and as his older sister I take it as my duty to care for him… and if this issue is all too great for myself to handle, I will tell my parents…everything if need be. No secret is worth my brother getting hurt, and if I find out whatever is troubling him is doing so… his secret can be thrown out of the window for all I care.

I will find out what is wrong Danny… I promise… and I will find out SOON.


	7. Chapter 7

**Me: Yeah, I know that you all hate me for updating so late… but school is winding down, bringing exams with it. But, you will all be happy to know that I have made this chapter extra long so that way you won't kill me… It's about 6 pages long on word. **

_**Danny Muse: Like it or I'll kill you! XD**_

**Me: … you have got to be the most violent ghost in existence.**

_**Danny Muse: Half ghost, and what about Vlad?**_

**Me: Vlad isn't violent, he is just a fruitloop.**

_**Danny Muse: Oh…**_

**Me: Yeah… okay so my WONDERFUL readers… if you would just go ahead and press that little review button when you finish this chapter, then I promise to update faster next time okay? **

* * *

Chapter 7

**Danny's POV**

My screams are muffled by the cool fabric of my pillow. Hot tears stream down my face as I sob. I have absolutely no recollection as to why I am currently sobbing into the white fabric that is my pillow… I was fine when I returned home from school… and then suddenly I simply fell apart. It was as if someone had given me the grave news that my entire family had died. The hopelessness and anger that I currently feel is a mirror image of those emotions.

The emotion I am currently feeling has been called by the name of depression throughout society, but I disagree. Society sees depression as merely sadness, and not for the true pain that it truly is; therefore what I am feeling cannot be depression- at least not by a social standpoint. The medical standpoint may be more accurate, but nobody except for doctors looks at things at a medical standpoint anymore. They merely judge you as different… and hate you for it. No, society refuses to accept the blatant truth that depression is far more than pure sadness. Depression is emptiness, anger, tears, and an extreme sense of self- loathing… although, because society is insistent upon naming this dastardly emotion as depression, which in their minds means little more than sadness, I have renamed it. This emotion is not depression, this emotion is HELL!

I doubt that many have felt the sting I have deemed to be known as hell, but for those unfortunate enough to have been infected… I apologize. I apologize for every tear that you have ever cried. Nobody deserves hell…

…except for me.

I am a failure to my family; never to live up to the wondrous expectations my sister has thrust before me. No matter how hard I try, there is always someone who gets hurt because of me… why am I such a failure?

The pillow's once cool fabric becomes so warm that it is suffocating from my cries into it. I sit up and throw the dastardly thing across the room. I hate that pillow, I hate my life, I hate everything, and I hate myself.

Good grief, I wish I was dead.

I run over to the pillow and kick it violently, stomp on it, and yell as loud as I can at the fluffy object. I don't know why I am beating and yelling at an inanimate object… I suppose it brings me some sort of comfort… but it's not enough. I bend over and start beating the pillow, attempting to tear the thing apart. I scream in frustration and try to rip it to shreds with my bare hands. I throw the thing again when it doesn't work and I stomp over to my bottom dresser drawer. I throw the clothes concealing my weapon across the room and grab my razorblade from it.

I run over to the pillow and pull back the blade, its silver edge glistening in the dull light radiating from my lamp. I thrust the blade forward, plunging it into the pillow. I pull back and repeat the process repetitively. Stuffing flies from the pillow similar to that of blood. I stab it again in my frustration and anger. Why is it that I have to feel like this all the time? Oh cruel thorn known as fate… why have you done this? Why have you shattered me… thrown my broken shards until they were impossible to glue back together? Now dear fate… what have you left me? You've left me with hell… oh and how I wish that I could end it all… so that this hell may fade into oblivion. I plunge the blade back into the pillow as I choked sob erupts from my throat, warm tears kiss my cheeks. I look down, the pillow has become so torn that there is nowhere left for me to cut it… but I still need to let this bottled up emotion out on SOMETHING…

I guess it's me.

I use my right index finger to wipe the remaining stuffing off my blade then rest the silver upon my left wrist sighing for a moment before I apply pressure. I let out a choked up laugh in the bittersweet relief that it brings. I pull the blade up from my wrist, staring for a moment at the sweet crimson that drips from it.

I smile.

I don't know how long it has been since I started my cutting rage today. It may have been 15 minutes, or even an hour. I set the blade upon my right leg, about to cut again… when a sudden wave of nausea flows through me. I resist the urge to vomit, and look down at my hand which holds my razor. Blood has drizzled down from my wrist and stained it crimson. It shakes violently from the excessive amount of blood loss, and I sigh. I know that it is time to stop… at least for now. I shakily make my way to my feet, and stumble over to my bed. Colors are swirling, mixing with each other until I can only vaguely see shapes. I shut my eyes in a vain attempt to stop the dizziness that I feel… before I give up and flop down on my bed. I lie there for a few minutes… or perhaps it is longer… I honestly have no idea. I finally sit up and my vision has cleared up for the most part… but I still feel ridiculously dizzy. I stand up and carefully put my razor back into my dresser drawer and cover it with the clothes I had thrown out in my rage. I throw the torn up pillow in the garbage and pull my first aid kit and towel out from under my bed.

I open up the plastic first aid kit and fish through it until I find the once thick, now thin roll of white gauze. I pull about 3 feet off the roll, then use the small scissors in the kit to cut it off. I lean over my left arm, and begin to expertly wrap it. As I wrap my forearm, I count the wounds which I inflicted.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…

Seven cuts.

I sigh as I tie the gauze tightly, the guilt of the deed already setting in… although I have not yet observed all the damage. I cut another piece of gauze and begin to wrap my right arm.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

Five cuts.

I hold my breath as I count the fresh cuts on my left leg, as I wrap it with gauze.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…

Ten…ten cuts.

As I wrap my right leg, I am almost fearful to assess the damage… I count slowly…

1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…8…

Eight cuts.

Thirty… thirty cuts total…

Warm tears run down my face. I am a failure. I have failed my family and friends by doing this. Why am I such a horrible person? I wish that I was never born. My life is a worthless piece of… NOTHING. My life is so freaking worthless that it doesn't deserve the respect of being called anything else.

And that is the ultimate hell.

I glare at my bottom dresser drawer in anger I really wish that I didn't have to go through the pain that I do. A fresh set of tears cloud my vision. I hate cutting, yet I love it. It is my only release…

I have come to a conclusion long ago about this matter. This conclusion has three parts. 1.) I am worthless, my body is worthless- therefore it shouldn't matter if I ruin it any further than it already is. 2.) I am a terrible person… so I deserve this pain. 3.) I am in too deep. Cutting is the only thing which grounds me to this life. Without it…

…without it I would die.

Overall, my reasoning is this… if my life is to be damned to my own personal hell… is it not in my right to grasp the few joys that remain of my shattered life? This bloody pleasure… it is all that I have left that can make me smile… if only for a moment. Is it wrong that I should take advantage of it?

I shake my head… who am I kidding? I know that this is wrong… but sometimes it's just easier to pretend. If my family ever knew about this… man it would tear them to pieces. I sigh, I deserve to die.

"Oh, but it's true," I laugh and sob simultaneously, "I should just tell them of my inner demons, I should tell them of how I cry at night… I should tell them of how I want nothing more than the bittersweet taste of death to bless my lips. And yet- I can't." I pause, gasping through my onslaught of tears.

"I can't tell them of my demons… I can't tell them of my cries. I can't tell them of my desire for death. Why? Why? Because I am ashamed…" I take a deep shuddering breath, "…Ashamed of the fact that I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE!" I pound my fist on the side of my bed as I sob.

"I just need to suck it up… I can handle this… I fight ghosts for heaven's sake… I can… I-I can't. Who am I kidding?" I laugh dryly at fate's cruel hand, "I hate everything… I wish that I was free… but I should really stop whining, nobody cares enough to hear anyways."

I shake my head and grab an extra blanket from the end of my bed. I bunch it up and use it as a replacement for my demolished pillow. I curl up and snuggle into the makeshift pillow. Life sucks.

Jazz's POV

Oh my gosh, sometimes I just want to throttle the living heck out of my teachers. What is with them? Two book reports, 50 math problems, and a history test review, all due tomorrow. I swear that they all group together and choose a day to attack the student body with an impossible amount of homework. Ah… the joys of being a junior in high school. I shake my head and laugh at myself as I walk up the steps to my house. Despite the large quantity of homework I have to do tonight, I had a brilliant day. My friend Katie had me laughing until I cried, and then Katie, Rosie, Jayne, and I stayed after school to work on some of our homework- although we joked around more than we actually did any work. All in all, today was a pretty good day… and to top it all off Mom and Dad are at a ghost convention and won't be back until tomorrow… so the house will be nice and quiet.

I fumble with my keys and open the front door. I sigh in the relief of finally being home, and flop on the couch. I pull out my math book and begin to work on those oh so wonderful 50 math problems, which are oh so conveniently due tomorrow. I sigh again and begin to write down the first problem, when I hear a sound from upstairs. I drop my pencil in surprise, before remembering that Danny is home and the silly klutz probably dropped something. I lean back over my paper after picking up my yellow no. 2 pencil and am about to continue the problem, until I hear another bang and I am curious. I set my paper and pencil down and walk upstairs. I am about to call out his name, when I hear a quiet murmur from his room. I shut my opened mouth and silently walk up to his door. I carefully press my ear against his faded blue door. His words come to me muffled through the door- yet they are clear enough for me to make out.

"-I should just tell them of my inner demons, I should tell them of how I cry at night… I should tell them of how I want nothing more than the bittersweet taste of death to bless my lips. And yet- I can't." I hear his voice through the door and I am shocked. It's worse than I thought… is my baby brother truly dealing with such a pain? Tears form in my teal eyes, but I push them back. I need to hear it all… or at least what I can.

"I can't tell them of my demons… I can't tell them of my cries. I can't tell them of my desire for death. Why? Why? Because I am ashamed…"

"What are you ashamed of Danny?" I ask myself, and Danny unbeknownst to himself responds.

"…Ashamed of the fact that I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE!" My brother screams and I hear a dull thud, possibly from him hitting or throwing something. I stumble back in surprise. He wasn't ashamed over feeling the way that he did… he was ashamed that he needed help. The tears that I had been holding back cascade down my cheeks. My makeup becomes a sloppy mess but I could care less.

My brother needs me.

I make a step to go an open the door, wanting nothing more than to comfort him, but I stop after a moment. He would be angry at me for listening to his monologue… I can't let him know that I've heard him… at least for the time being. I press my ear upon his door again, to see if he has anything more to say. His words are nearly whispered, and I have to strain my hearing to even barely catch them.

"I just need to suck it up… I can handle this… I fight ghosts for heaven's sake… I can… I-I can't. Who am I kidding?" A small shiver runs down my spine when Danny gives a dry laugh, full of pure pain and emptiness, "I hate everything… I wish that I was free… but I should really stop whining, nobody cares enough to hear anyways." I am stunned into silence. Did he really just say that? Does he honestly think that we're not listening? I shake my head. Danny cannot keep going on like this… at this rate he is going to do something stupid… and I absolutely refuse to let harm befall my brother if I can prevent it.

With tears swimming in my eyes, I listen to see if he has anything left to add to his tragic speech, but all that I hear is soft rhythmic breathing coming from his room, signaling that he had fallen asleep.

I slowly open the door, checking to make sure that he is honestly asleep, before wiping my eyes and running across his bedroom and wrapping him into a gentle hug. I whisper softly into his ear, being careful not to wake him.

"I will save you Danny… I promise. I am listening, and I will always be there for you Danny, always." I whisper, and Danny snuggles deeper into the blanket that he is using as a makeshift pillow. I wonder vaguely what happened to his original pillow, but find that I really don't care. My baby brother is safe… at least for now. I lean forward and kiss his forehead; it is still warm from his frustration and anger. I stand up and run my hand through his onyx hair, before I walk into the hall.

I turn to the right and walk to the end of the hallway, open my door, and enter my room. I lock the door behind me, and sit cross legged on my bed. I sigh and pull my phone from my pocket. I press 2 and let speed-dial do the rest.

"Hello?" The phone asks.

"Hey Sam, its Jazz…I'm calling about Danny…"


	8. Chapter 8

**Me: …**

_**Danny Muse: You are just awful.**_

**Me: I KNOW I haven't updated in what has to be at LEAST 6 months…**

_**Danny Muse: You don't deserve all these great readers.**_

**Me: *cries* I SUCK!**

_**Danny Muse: Yes, yes you do.**_

**Me: Here is the chapter, I suck.**

_**Danny Muse: Yeah, but I'm still awesome.**_

**Me: Yes you are.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Sam's POV

"Wait, Wait, WAIT. Say it again… this time SLOWER!" I snap at the distressed Jazz on the other end of the line. I sigh… I got the gist of it last time, but I wanted to believe that I had heard it wrong…I had to have. Danny couldn't be thinking like that… could he?

"Sam," Jazz's voice came out painstakingly slow and I could practically see her rolling her eyes, "for the millionth time, I heard Danny talking to himself in his room a few minutes ago… he was really upset. He said that he hates the world and himself… he thinks that nobody cares."

I shake my head… I couldn't deny that what Jazz said was true. Jazz would never joke about something like this… This is real. I feel warm tears begin to grace my eyes and I choke out a small sob… careful not to let Jazz hear me crying, because as far as SHE knows… I don't cry.

"I just can't believe this Jazz…I just knew something was wrong!" I take a deep shuddering breath before I continue, "We need to do something…. We need to do something NOW! Danny's gonna do something stupid and irrational I just know it, because we both know that he is always like that, and-"

"BREATHE SAM!" I pause and take a deep breath and attempt to calm down when Jazz screams at me through the phone. I hadn't noticed how much I really needed that breath…my face was hot and my fingers clammy. I sigh and continue speaking to Jazz.

"I'm sorry Jazz… I'm just really worried for him…" I wipe some of the wetness from my eyes… smudging my makeup. Great…add that to the list of things annoying the crap out of me right now…makeup, Danny's issue, and the fact that my parents are screaming downstairs about who knows what.

"It's okay Sam… I am too. I think that it would be best if you, me, and Tucker talked to him tomorrow after school. We can try to get him to open up a bit… it's not good for him to be bottling up all these emotions." Jazz said softly into the phone. I nod my head in agreement before I realize that she isn't able to see me, and speak a soft "mhmm…" into the phone.

I really didn't want to do this to Danny… I remember last time we tried to confront him about his behavior he got really worked up and flew off. I know that he might get that upset again… and maybe even worse and I really hate the idea of doing that to him…

But he needs help… and I am not going to just slip this under the carpet.

"Okay Jazz… I'll talk to Tucker about it and we will corner him after school tomorrow…" I sigh and hang up the phone once she voiced her approval.

I go to the contacts on my phone and scroll down to Tucker's number…

This is gonna suck…

* * *

Danny's POV

My scar covered arms reach out to the sides of my bed as my eyes slowly open. The dark rings under them, showing proof of the nightmares that I endured throughout the night. Ha, my favorite one was where Sam tied me down and cut me until I bled out.

…I suppose that it wasn't much of a surprise that I got a mere 3 hours of sleep.

I sigh and roll off my bed, landing on my hardwood floors with a dull thunk. I sit up slowly and yawn, rubbing my eyes as I do so. Through my sleepy eyes, I attempt to make out the time on my clock, 6:00 am… a half hour earlier than I need to, but you have got to be insane if you think that I'm going to even TRY falling back to sleep…

I pull off my long sleeved shirt, and examine the bandages upon my arms. Brownish-red covers them… a sign that blood has seeped through. I grunt in the sheer annoyance of it, and rip the bandages off, wincing in the slight pain it provides. I look closer and sigh in relief when I see that the bleeding has stopped… so I won't have to wear bandages underneath my shirt… and that way nobody will become suspicious of the lumps it gives.

I slowly pull a black long sleeved shirt on, and slip a dark red tee- shirt over it. I pull them on- fastening them with a black studded belt. I glance in the mirror above my dresser and take in my appearance.

Oh yeah, I'm so freaking sexy…yeah right.

I shove my worn down converse on without even bothering to put socks on first, and rush down the stairs. I only pause to slip my backpack on over one shoulder before I am out the door… screw breakfast.

I sigh in relief when I make it to the end of our block… Jazz has been a little bit too observant lately… and I don't need her noticing how 'pale' I look today.

I walk a good few blocks before I mentally face-palm… why he HECK am I not flying… I'm Danny freaking Phantom for the love of pete! I shake my head at my stupidity, before I dunk into a nearby alleyway and transform into my alter ego. I smile as the cool sensation the transformation brings overcomes me… I honestly love this feeling. I feel numb… like all the pain I am forced to endure disappears for a mere moment.

It's almost as good as cutting…

Almost.

I open my neon green eyes as I gaze into the heavens. I couldn't help myself, and as I defy gravity I shout "SCREW YOU NEWTON AND YOUR STUPID LAWS!" before I head towards school. Screw physics, I'm half-dead… the laws of nature don't apply to me

I'm not normal… but what else is new?

I fly for about a minute before I arrive at the school. I fly behind a large oak before I return to my human form. The joy of transforming takes me over again… but only for a moment before it leaves me.

I sigh and pull out my phone and notice that there is still an hour until school starts… well gee, what now?

I sigh and plop down at the base of the oak, and pull a piece of ridiculously wrinkled notebook paper from my backpack. I start to doodle, write, and tear at the poor thing.

It isn't exactly a masterpiece… but I'm bored… get used to it.

I notice that the front of the school has started to flood with students, and I assume that school is going to start soon.

I walk through the front doors of the school with a small smirk… won't Lancer be surprised when I am on time for first hour?

* * *

Sam's POV

I run the plan over in my head as the final minutes of the school day drizzle by. I could really give a rat's butt about Physics Mr. Tastan… sorry. Now please to the world a favor and shut your mouth please. I roll my eyes as he continues on in his monotone voice.

Blah, blah blah, blah, blahhh…

I shake my head and sigh before I go through the plan mentally for what must be the 10th time in the last 15 minutes. Okay, so I told Tucker about Danny… check. He wasn't too thrilled about the idea… but hey nobody is! I don't want Danny to be depressed either but it's not like I can DO anything other than talk to him about it. God I hate these types of situations… okay so Jazz is gonna meet up with us right as the bell rings. Check. And Danny is at school today… I look over and see him in his usual seat, eyes sullen and lifeless…check? Well at least he's here PHYSICLY…

Okay… we can do this… we can-

"BRINNNNGGGGG!"

"And that's our cue." I whisper as I look towards Tucker and he nods at me. The two of us follow Danny out of the classroom the minute that he springs out of his seat. Tucker and I have to literately sprint to get ahead of him, but I don't think he even notices that we are there. He is on a mission to get home and anything else can wait apparently. The two of us sprint out the front doors of the school and turn around…

…only to have Danny plow straight into us.

Tucker and I fall backwards, and I hiss in pain as my butt smacks on the pavement, but Danny falls face first. Thankfully, he avoids broken nose by sticking his arms out in front of him…

"AGH!" Danny yelps in pain, as he holds his arms to his chest.

"Danny! Are you okay?!" I ask startled at his reaction. Danny has a pretty high pain tolerance… he must've smacked the ground a lot harder than I originally thought.

"mmmfine." Danny mumbles as he gingerly makes his way to his feet. I look at his expression, and notice that it is still twisted in pain… and maybe, fear?

"Are you sure?" I ask confused… why would Danny be fearful? Did he find out that we were going to confront him today?

"I. said. I'm. FINE." He snaps, and I scowl at him. What, am I not allowed to be concerned about him anymore?

"Ya know, you don't have to snap at my Danny! Maybe I was WORRIED about you! I TRY to be a good friend to you and all you ever do is blow up in my face, and to tell the truth, I'm just downright SICK of it! I mean what's WRONG with yo-" My rant is cut off by Jazz's warning glare as she approaches our group. I bite my tongue and glare at the ground… what, everything I said was true…

God I hate stress.

"Danny?" Jazz asks Danny softly and he turns around to face her, the fear in his face was steadily growing more visible.

"We-we need to talk…"


	9. Chapter 9

**_Danny Muse- *Claps* Wow! DPfruitloop, you actually managed to update in a reasonable amount of time! Good for you!_**

**Me- Shut up Danny! I can be on task if I want to be!**

**_Danny Muse- Key words; "If I want to be…"_**

**Me- -.- go eat yourself Danny…**

**_Danny Muse- OKAY! :D_**

**Me- ….**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Danny's POV**

Hands sweat, and eyes filled with worry stare into my very being. I back away slowly, trying to be discrete. I know that that last fall had broken my scabs back open; I can feel the blood flowing freely down my wrists, sticky warmth slowly seeping through my sleeves… I can't let them see… I can't let them see… A lump forms in my throat as I shove my hands into my pockets, praying the blood wouldn't seep through my jacket... God, please don't let the blood seep through!

"Danny please, talk to us!" Jazz cries out, and I look into the swimming pool of teal that is her eyes. I note the shine to them, the wetness, and my heart breaks knowing that I am the cause of her distress.

"W-What about?" I stammer, resisting the urge to run, the urge to fly. I want nothing more than to flee to the sanctuary that is my bedroom. I want to not even have this situation in the first place. I hate it. I hate that I brought this upon myself… now I have to either lie to them, or I have to break their hearts.

Plan A, defiantly plan A…

"Danny… we've noticed that you have become more and more distant with us. You are always secluded in your room, and you never talk to us anymore at school. And god Danny… I can't even remember the last time we hung out!" Sam sighs and looks at me, forcing my eyes to avert to the ground. I couldn't stand lying to her face… It would only make what I have to do harder.

"I'm fine Sam… I just like being alone sometimes." I defend, and Tucker opens his mouth to speak.

"Dude… it's okay to be alone SOMETIMES… but it can't be healthy for you to lock yourself up in your room as often as you do. And you are just so QUIET. And no witty banter… what's up with that? You INVENTED witty banter! What gives?" I try to come up with a decent comeback to his words, but I am caught off guard with yet another accusation, this time by Jazz.

"And you always are so quick to anger… what happened to the even tempered brother I knew only a few months ago… you're so different now… what's with you Danny?"… Before I can respond, yet another accusation is presented. Then another, then another, until I can't make out who is accusing me anymore.

"Yeah and you don't seem like you care about ANYTHING anymore!"

"And what's with the costume change? You never wore long sleeves before now!"

"Are you doing drugs?"

"Danny! Is that true?"

"No-"

"Are you in a gang?"

"Is somebody blackmailing you?"

"If they're threatening you I swear…"

"Nobody-"

"Danny why won't you talk to us?"

"I'm tryi-"

"Quiet Sam! He's trying to talk!"

"Shut up Jazz! Danny can talk for himself, right Danny?"

"Actually I-"

"Danny are-"

"SHUT UP!" I scream in frustration. My eyes flash a color of green more vibrant than the Ghost Zone itself, as I glare at the three of them. How dare they? How dare they confront me, and not allow me to defend myself!? Lips form words of pure, unadulterated anger as my eyes bore marks into their very being.

"You- you want me to talk to you guys, but you won't freaking shut up! I can't STAND YOU! I can't believe… I just can't believe that I thought you cared… God, just leave me alone. If you really cared you would just let me TALK for once in my life… but I finally understand that you want no part in my life, none of you do! Ya know what? I don't care… I don't need you guys! I can handle my own life! I'm going home…See ya…" My eyes glare, despite I know they hold a wetness that had already begun to fall, and I turn high tale and attempt to escape the oncoming onslaught of pleading to stay… but yet again I was pulled back into the unwanted conversation after about a thousand apologies. I pretend to ignore them… I know they don't really care… they just want to feel less guilty because THEY ARE IN THE WRONG! I begin to run away again, but Sam reaches out and grabs my wrist and pulls me back towards them.

I yelp in pain, before my eyes widen, and I find myself staring at them in shock… oh man, oh man, oh man…

"Danny! What's wro-" Sam cries before looking at her hand… and screams in terror. I wince when I see it… red, sticky, wet… warm… covered in…covered in blood…my- my blood…

"DANNY!" Sam exclaims and grabs my arm. I wince and pull back.

I have to get away…I have to get away…

Time slows as hands with nails covered in black grip the fabric of my sleeve. I see the shock in her violet eyes, as she sees the crimson staining it.

A deep breath, the shut of my eyes, and the tug of the fabric… it all happens in an instant…

Then why does it feel like eternity?

…The gasps, my feet running… the tears, the fear.

I have to get away…

I hear their cries to come back, but I don't bother…

I have to get away…

I forget I can fly, I forget I'm half ghost, I forget it all...

All I know is that they know… and… and….

…they will never look at me the same way again…

My feet leave only marks of eternal sorrow as I run, not caring where they take me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Me: Hey I've returned!**

_**Danny Muse: To torture me?**_

**Me: YEAH!**

_**Danny Muse: I hate you!**_

**Me: I KNOW! :D**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

The cold of this night is all that I deserve… I have failed them all… they-they- they hate me…

I shiver as icy wind blows past, but I continue to run… I have to get away. I don't care where I go; I don't care what happens to me. All that I give a damn about is getting AWAY. I cry out, in pain? No…no… it's not pain that I feel, it is an emotion all that much stronger… it is… disappointment. It is not them I am disappointed in however, it is instead myself. This entire situation was my fault. They did everything a good loved one should…

This is all my, MY, MY FALT!

I scream out in pure, unadulterated frustration, I can't believe the absolute HELL I have put them through… and for WHAT? Do tell, what justifies treating those who care about you like they don't matter… ALL I EVER DO IS HELP MYSELF. I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE, EXCEPT ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!

I. HATE. ME.

I look to the sky, and notice that autumn's night has begun to crawl in. I wonder how long I have been running… ah, it doesn't matter. I am away from them… I need to be away from them… they don't deserve... me. They don't deserve me.

Oh and the salt that kisses my lips, it tastes oh too pure to belong to someone as awful as myself. I don't even deserve to drink these tears… for they are too pure to grace my very tongue. I raise my hands to my face. They are so… ugly. They are not ugly on the outside… but it is the deeds they have carried out by orders of my demonic mind that make them ugly. They have done this! These damned hands have murdered my life! They have whistled in joy as they wrote blood upon my wrists.

And I look at the scars…oh the scars…

I never have looked at them is such a fashion. I find myself incapable of baring my own weight, and slump over to a nearby alleyway and slide down the filthy wall, until I rest upon the ground. The cement supporting me is cracked, and blades of grass are forcing their way to the heavens.

I stare at the scars as dusk becomes night, the only light shining being that of the moon. It is that moonlight that reflects my scars… oh my scars…

I can't even bring myself to look at the rest… I just stare at my arms… wondering how I could even think of doing this… and how did it get to this point?

I still remember the first time I cut… it wasn't even that big a deal. I just remember I was really mad… mad at everything, mad at the world. So, I started punching the walls of my room… and when that wasn't enough I grabbed a pair of nail clippers and dug them into my right forearm…

And… I felt okay then.

…so I did it again.

And again, and again, and again…

Until it got to the point that I was breaking my mom's shaving razors apart and hiding them in my room.

…Why did I ever start this?

It was only one day of feeling angry… I can't even remember what I was angry about. Maybe I had failed one of Lancer's tests… but was that moment of sweet pleasure worth the hell that I am forced to endure now?

Was it worth these scars? The cross hatched lines of confused red?

Not by a long shot.

And now I am crying… for what exactly I don't know. My emotions are confused… they are jumbled… am I crying out of shame? Regret? Self-hatred? Oh I just don't know. I wrap my arms around my legs and sob.

Oh god I just don't know…

…I can't believe how damn STUPID I am!

"GAH!" I scream and rip the sleeves off my shirt. I'M DONE HIDING! I AM JUST DONE! LET THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD SEE THE HELL THAT I HAVE BEEN FORCED TO ENDURE!

I scream again and rip the bottoms of my pant legs off. Let the entire world see those see those scars too!

Hey-hehe, let's show them more scars! Scars all over! New scars! Old scars! Who cares?!

I laugh as I get up onto my knees and search for the sharpest thing I can find. I quickly spot a green piece of glass shining in the moonlight. I pick it up and press it to my wrist and smile in pure ecstasy.

Another cut and another, what the hell? What's one more?

Oooooh blood, blood on the walls!

My wrists are gliding across the brick of the alleyway. Red crimson… so beautiful!

THIS WILL SHOW THEM! NOW THEY CAN ALL SEE THE REAL ME!

I DESERVE THIS HELL!

I need more blood! More blood!

The smell of rust fills the alleyway, and I laugh as I press the glass to my exposed leg.

I DESERVE THESE SCARS!

I cackle as I stand up and make yet another scar on my wrist, this time on the left. I cut deep, and smile as blood kisses the ground. I dig my finger into the wound, until it is coated with crimson. Then I begin on my masterpiece. I draw in sick satisfaction on the brick canvas before me. I draw myself… my wrists bleeding.

I want everyone to know the hell I've gone through.

I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE.

I fall to the ground and sob… oh god why won't someone just LISTEN to me…?

"Hello? Anyone there?" I stop dead at the voice and turn around. Oh crap, somebody saw me, I stand up and shove my hands in my pockets and turn to run the other way… only to realize the alleyway is a dead end.

Great… this is… this is just magnificent!

"DANNY!"

And… they know who I am. Situation just got ten times better!

I only have a few seconds to brace myself before the inevitable happens.

Tight hands grip me around the waist, and force the beautiful glass from my unwilling hand. It is thrown to the end of the alleyway, where it is shattered into a million useless pieces. I cry out in anguish. I want it back. I want the damned thing back!

"Oh my god, oh my god, Danny look at yourself!"

I really don't care… why should I care…? My life is useless.

I hear a woman sobbing… but where?

"DANNY!"

I'm kinda tired… man that ground looks comfortable… who the heck is Danny?

"DANNY GET UP! OH MY GOD…"

Whoa… when did I get on the ground? Man… this is comfy…

"Danny please stay with me! I'm calling for help! TUCKER, JAZZ, CALL THE HOSPITAL NOW!"

Shut up lady… I'm trying to sleep here!

"OH MY GOD! DANNY!"

I don't give a CRAP about whoever you're screaming to. Now SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP! Goodnight!

"HELLO? 911? MY BROTHER HE…"

Goodnight.


	11. Chapter 11

**Me: Yeah you all hate me I know.**

_**Danny Muse: They have every right to. You suck.**_

**Me: I know, I know. But I have a very valid excuse.**

_**Danny Muse: Which is…?**_

**Me: I am the laziest person alive.**

Chapter 11

* * *

Hope is like a blossoming flower, transforming even the ugliest bush into a work of art.

* * *

The smell of antiseptic hits me like a ton of bricks, and my nose wrinkles in utter protest. I groan in frustration, and groggily try to pull my hand up to cover it…I feel a tug though, and I find that I cannot move my arms! I snap my eyes open, and look at them… I gasp when I see that they are strapped down to a bed I appear to be laying on… and bandaged? I try with all my power to break free of them, but they are too thick. I start panicking, my mind is racing, and my breath is short. I look around, trying to spot someone; but all I see is white. I can't remember anything except that I am tied down, and I don't know where the HELL I am! I start pulling at the straps more frantically, and start screaming in fear. I am trapped, I want out; I want out, I want OUT!

I feel pain on my arms, but I keep tugging despite it. I need to get the hell out of here… GET ME OUT OF THESE STRAPS! I scream louder and start rocking the entire bed in protest. My ears start ringing in an insane protest to some high pitched beeping sound, and then I hear a slam coming from my right.

"DANNY!" I hear her voice and I stop for a moment and look around the room, trying to find it. Soon, my eyes meet the violet one's that I've longed after since 6th grade, and I sigh in relief. I look towards the door and see a swarm of doctors barge through it and I shrink into the bed as much as possible.

"Can you guys take him out of the straps? I think they're doing more harm than good at this point… I'll keep an eye on him." Sam pleads with the medical staff, and they nod their heads in unison. All but one leaves the room, and the one doctor left rushes forward to unbuckle my straps. He looks around 30, has dirty blond hair, and bright blue eyes. I look at him silently, frozen in fear. I don't know where I am, what's going on, and why the heck I was strapped down in the first place. The doctor frees me of my straps, and I quickly fold my arms. I don't like people touching my arms.

"Hello Daniel-" The doctor begins but I interrupt him.

"It's Danny."

"Hello Danny," The doctor corrects before he continues, "I am Doctor Bays. I am going to be stopping by every once in a while to check up on you… alright?" I almost roll my eyes. Yeah, like I have a choice. This nut-job is going to do whatever he wants, regardless of what I want; I can see it in his eyes… full of fake care. He doesn't care about my well being… he cares about money. Freaking ton of doctor money along with that mile long plastic smile… might as well just agree so he will leave faster.

"Whatever." I spit and the doctor almost flinches, and I repress the urge to grin. The doctor just nods his head with his fake sympathy, and fake smile, and fake kindness before he struts out the door like he is God himself.

…I hate this guy.

"Danny? How are you doing?" Sam asks me and I give her a look.

"Well saying as I just woke up in what I THINK might be a hospital, and I woke up with freaking STRAPS tying me down for god knows why... not so well." I spit as I turn over and flop my head into my pillow. I hear Sam sigh and grab my shoulder to turn me back over. I could have stayed there with my ugly face in the crappy dingy pillow forever, but I allow her to turn me over. Not because I feel bad for her, but because I want to know what the heck is going on.

"Danny, you ARE in the hospital…d-don't you remember anything?" Sam stutters and my eyes grow wide. The last thing I remember was that ally… and the glass… and Sam…

Oh man…

"Uh… I think so." I hang my head in shame, and Sam looks slightly relived. I suppose she didn't want to talk about it either.

Good.

"We'll there you go… that's why you were tied down." She states blatantly and I look up at her in surprise.

"How on EARTH does that justify tying me down?" I gasp.

"…are you seriously going to make me say it?" She sighs and I nod really slowly.

"…Uh YEAH." I spit rolling my eyes in frustration.

"They do it with all patients who come into the hospital with… situations like yours."

"Well that's kinda dumb. It wasn't that bad!" I snap.

"Wasn't that bad?! Danny you- you tried to kill yourself!" She screams and I stare at her dumbfounded.

"W-what!? I n-never-"

"BULL CRAP! I saw you Danny! There was blood EVERYWHERE! You were soaked in it, and-and on the walls…and-and you fainted –an-an-and-" Sam can't finish her sentence and starts sobbing. "I was so scared Danny… I-I thought you died…"

I stare at her in shock. Was it really that bad? I thought I only did a few… I don't remember being soaked in blood… but- but Sam would never lie about something like this. Tucker, maybe. Sam, Sam would never. Maybe… maybe it did get out of hand… but I wasn't trying to kill myself… but-but that doesn't mean that I didn't almost do it…

I lift Sam's face up and try to meet her eyes, but she keeps avoiding my gaze. My heart sinks at this and I feel my eyes begin to fill with tears.

"Sam look at me." I demand, and at last her amethyst eyes meet mine. "Listen," She nods her head, and I continue, " I wasn't trying to kill myself-"

"Then how do you explain-"

"Sam LISTEN TO ME! I wasn't trying to kill myself. Please belive me… I-I can't explain why I did it. I guess… It was like my mind was in a different world Sam, I only thought I cut a few times…"

"You cut more than a few times Danny… look at your arms!" Sam cried and I look down and get a real good look at them. They were covered in bandages…

"And your legs…"

I pull my legs up to my chest and my heart falls when I see them covered in bandages also.

"Sam…" I whisper, but she interrupts me.

"How can you expect me to believe that you weren't trying to kill yourself!? You looked like a ghost… well more than you normally do… but still. Danny how can I believe that?" She looks like she is about to cry again, so I quickly rebuttal.

"Sam… at least try to understand me okay? I… you saw the scars right?" She nods, and I sigh when I see a single tear run across her face, before she casts it away, "Well… cutting makes me happy."

"How can hurting yourself make you happy!?" Sam demands and I resist the urge to snap back.

"Sam, please try to understand me. I don't think that I can take it if you are against me." I take a shuddering breath, and I see her eyes soften. She nods her head and I take a few deep breaths before continuing.

"Sam… I-I just feel so sad all the time… I try to smile… but it hurts to smile. I just feel…I feel _empty…_ I don't know how to explain it. It's like… like the absence of all emotions yet not at the same time and… I'm not making any sense am I?" Sam shakes her head and offers a weak chuckle, and I smile sadly at her.

"Sam… I don't know how to explain how I feel. I just… It hurts me. It's like this _thing_ is eating away at me, and it doesn't matter how much I laugh, how much I smile, how _happy_ I am… I-I somehow I am not at the same time. Do you know how frustrating that is? It's such an impossible emotion that I feel constantly… but somehow it exists. It drives me insane Sam. I-I guess that doing…doing that helps me deal with it. It distracts me from the pain. I can smile when I hurt myself because the emptiness is gone. It kills it for a few minutes… don't you understand? I wasn't trying to kill myself Sam… I just wanted the emptiness to go away for a while so I could think. I'm so sorry it got out of control… I just wanted to smile. Please try to understand Sam…Please"

"…Danny I don't think I know why you did any of this…" I feel my heart fall, " But I think I am starting to understand it a little bit." I feel as though my heart is flying. Could it be she gets it?

"Yo-you do?" I stutter in joy and she nods.

"It's really hard to understand… but… I believe you Danny. I believe that you weren't trying to end your life.


	12. Chapter 12

**Me: Hey all my amazing readers! Thank you so much for reading this train wreck of a story, and thanks a bucket-load to all of you guys who reviewed! It means a TON to me! I'm really sorry for taking so long to update this story, but I had some BS going on with schoolwork and with people and y'all know how that goes.**

_**Danny Muse: You're the one full of BS.**_

**Me: Shut up Danny, let the readers read.**

_**Danny Muse: :[**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, if I did, then I would be rich, and it would still be on the air.**

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Chapter 12

The confusion that I was forced to endure for the past 3 hours was nearly unbearable… actually, scratch that. It WAS unbearable. I groan in frustration and bury my head into my pillow. Sam rubs my shoulder sympathetically, and tries in vain to offer me comport. I shrug her off; I should've known that they would react this way. Of course they wouldn't believe me… Nobody ever does. Lord forbid that Danny could be _right_ for a change! I hear Sam sigh and flop down in the chair to my right, but I disregard her. I know they changed her mind. I can see it in her eyes, the doubt, the shame, the _guilt_… She feels as though she has hurt me by leading me on in such a fashion… almost as if she encouraged the behavior I partake in. I feel my eyes begin to wet again, but I force them dry once more. I don't deserve to cry, I don't deserve a single thing. I must be worthless for my family and closest friends to deem me as a liar, and state that I had intended the glass to end my life.

"Forget it Sam, I know how you feel…" I glare at her in betrayal. I thought that I could count on her… sure she defended my case for a while… but after a mere few minutes it became apparent that she believed the evidence that my family and Tucker provided for me to attempt suicide. Apparently no _normal_ person would inflict such wounds upon themselves. It's not _rational_…

Since when have I ever been rational?

"What do you mean Danny?" Sam asks, but despite her attempt at covering it, I can hear the shame in her voice. I glare daggers at her. How dare she imply that she doesn't know what I'm speaking of?! How _dare_ she?! I had given her my trust, told her the secrets of my heart and she disregarded them… and now she dares to disregard the fact that she _knows_ this? I huff and sit up in my hospital bed, the stiff sheets rubbing slightly uncomfortably against my skin, and narrow my eyes to the point I could barely see her face.

The face that I love…

The face that I hate…

The face that I need…

The face that hurts me…

The face that was there for me for so long…

The face that _betrayed _me.

"You know damn well what I mean Sam!" I spit and I watch as her violet eyes widen in shock, "You said you believed me! You said that you believed that I wasn't trying to kill myself. Now look at you! You- you- It took only a few minutes to change that! Do you really think so little of me, that it takes only a few minutes to skew the mindset it took me at LEAST an hour to convince you as truth?" My breaths begin to shake, and I raise the back of my hand to wipe away the beginnings of the dreaded wetness. I bite my lip and look in pain and betrayal at the only friend I had that believed me for even a mere moment…

Now even that reassurance is dead.

"Danny…" She begins but I cut her off in sheer rage.

"No, no Sam. Don't you DARE 'Danny' me! Do you know the absolute HELL that I have been forced to endure on a daily basis, and to think, heh, to think you actually were beginning to understand? Heh I should've known better. Life NEVER blesses me with anything anymore. You wanna know what attempted suicide looks like Sam? Because I'm SURE I can work something out for you!" I growl and I watch as she gasps in shock.

"Danny don't you DARE talk like that!

"Oh you don't want me to talk? Well maybe I should just act! Maybe this is just proof that nobody really gives two shits about me!" I can't help myself and I just break down sobbing.

"Danny stop it! You know we ALL care about you! You know it! Me, Tucker, Jazz, and your parents! WE ALL CARE!" Sam leaps up from her chair and tries to embrace me in a hug, but I shove her off and look dejectedly into her striking amethyst eyes. I shake my head and stare in dismay at the sallow tiled floor.

"Then why are they not here?" I whisper, and she stumbles for a moment trying to find the right words. More like the right _excuse._

"They're just scared Danny, they'll come around." I don't bother to repress the urge to laugh at that.

"Did you just say they were _scared_? Oh the irony! My family is scared of the freak half ghost!"

"You know I didn't mean it like that Danny." Sam says in what I suppose she believes I'm foolish enough to take as hurt. I know now she is only filled with _lies_…

And that hurts more than I have the pride to admit.

So I retort in the first defense that can come to mind.

"You _IMPLIED _it."

"I did no such thing!"

"Just leave me alone Sam!" I shout in frustration. I'm done with her, with everyone, with life in general.

"EXCUSE ME? Do you want me to leave? Because I'll freaking leave!"

"Then do it! Leave me alone dammit!" I scream at her and throw the crappy hospital right in her lying face. She shoves it aside, spews a slew of cuss words and stomps to the door. But before she leaves she turns around, and I feel the onslaught of guilt feed into my very being as I see her face was marred with tears.

"I was only trying to help you Danny." She whispers before she slams the door behind her leaving me alone.

All alone…

Isn't that what I wanted?

Who's the liar now Danny?

…You. Lying to yourself…

I look to the window.

Maybe…

I slide off my bed and head over to the window. I try to open it, only to realize that it's locked… well no shit Sherlock you're in a suicide ward. I roll my eyes and transform into my phantom half. I wonder vaguely if there are any cameras in the room… I know I should care but I can't bring myself to. I allow myself to become intangible and I launch myself from my hospital room, into the clear skies no other teenager could ever hope to know as well as I.


	13. Chapter 13

******Me: Hey you guys! I know that this chapter is RIDICULOUSLY short, but I have reasoning for doing this. One of these reasons is that I think the story would flow better if I separated this section from the next chapter with more than a line break. Secondly, I really wanted to get something up for you guys by Christmas, and I figured that something was better than nothing.**

_**Danny Muse: Well aren't you just perfect huh?**_

**Me: Shut up Danny.**

_**Danny Muse: How about NO?**_

**Me: *sucks Danny into Fenton Thermos***

_**Danny Muse: *makes rude gesture***_

**Me: *smiles* Wow, It's quiet in here!**

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**_And In all truth I would've never guessed you would care so vastly if I was to disappear. I thought it would be destiny that you would leave and never look back, yet I find my eyes making excuses for the truth that I now can see. _**

**_That you care._**

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**Chapter 13**

Daniel Fenton's hospital room was haunted, yet not in a ghostly sense. Instead, his room was haunted with the sobs of his loved ones. For you see, Daniel Fenton was gone. Not a soul had seen him depart from the hospital, and his window still remains locked. Samantha Manson falls to the ground, while her friend Tucker Foley attempts to hold her upright. Her face sinks into his tawny sweater, which feels as though it is slowly removing his very breath, as he himself attempts to stop the inevitable tears from falling to the floor. It doesn't take long before Samantha tears herself away from the dark skinned boy, and flings herself onto her best friend's bed. She grabs the pillow, and her dark makeup stain's the cheap cloth of the hospital pillowcase as she brings it close to her nose; attempting to take in Daniel's remaining sent.

Daniel's parents, Jack and Madeline Fenton, are silent. They stand in the far corner of the hospital room, with faces as impassive as a statue carved from stone. Their daughter, and Daniel's sister, Jasmine; is on the ground sobbing. She is curled up by the doorway, with eyes red and puffy. Long trails of blue mascara and turquoise eye shadow mar her cheekbones.

In the hallway two men and a woman stand. The reasoning for these people's presence is quite obvious. One of the men dons a doctor's ensemble, and the woman sports that of a nurse's. The second man wears a blue uniform, and a cap with the words _"Amity Park Police Department"_ scrawled across a golden plate. They speak to each other, and the man with police uniform nods his head in apparent understanding, before heading to speak to the loved one's of Daniel.

The officer (or so we can presume) shakes his head in dismay as he looks at the people gathered in the missing child's room. Every eye is turned to the man. Every breath is held…

"There is no sign of him yet," The officer speaks, "We'll keep looking though."

Nobody speaks a word as the officer nods his head dejectedly and departs the room. Eyes turn towards Samantha as she lets out a distraught whimper, and suddenly rolls off Daniel's bed and runs to the window. Jasmine and Tucker run after her as she starts pounding on the thing. They drag her away as she claws for the window.

"I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE DANNY!" Sam starts screaming, "I KNOW IT! YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW OR I'LL- I'LL- I'LL…" Samantha buries her head into Tucker's shirt again, while Jasmine rubs her back sympathetically.

The room is silent save for Samantha's muffled whimpers of dismay, hurt, and longing for the boy she clandestinely loves…


	14. Chapter 14

**Me: Hey all you faithful readers! I'm so sorry that it took so long for me to get this chapter up. I wrote and re-wrote it about 3 times before I was satisfied. I ended up breaking it into 2 chapters, so it would flow better. Expect the next chapter to be up by next weekend or maybe earlier depending on how things go. Thanks for putting up with me!**

**_Danny Muse: You really need to get your act together._**

**Me: Shut up Danny.**

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**Chapter 14**

The wind bites my skin, clawing at it in sheer desperation for me to notice it, but its efforts are in vain. I do not acknowledge the wind; nor do I acknowledge the tears being thrown at the bitter wind as I fly. I am weightless in more ways than one. For I am not full, being the less obvious sense. I am not full, for I am empty. Why would I be filled? I have no joy, no happiness, and no reason.

This sort of life is unbearable. Who would damn a person to live this way? Who would? Why am I even alive…or dead… or whatever the hell I am! Why? Who gives a damn! No one. Nobody cares… and those who say that they do are deaf. They cannot hear their ignorance. It is foolish for them to think otherwise. They say they are here for me, lies, lies, LIES! If they are here for me then why did they ignore the truth, blow it off as a lie? And why do they accept my lies as truth. Ignorance! They are filled to the brim with it! And now who is to suffer for said ignorance? Me. It is always me… and why wouldn't it? I am the perfect scapegoat.

I am a failure, a mistake, a blemish upon the world… so I shall suffer while they dance in the sun. Why is that so hard for me to accept? Danny accept defeat! Accept it! Your only purpose in this world is being a scapegoat for all, living or dead. Let the kids at school bully you, let the ghosts of another world bruise you, let your failures break you, let your loved one's guilt you. Accept it now! …It should be that simple right? Then… why is it so hard?

Perhaps it is mere human nature, never being satisfied with life… or maybe it is something more? Maybe there is something wrong with me… of course there is something wrong with you Danny! It's foolish of you to think otherwise. You are a freaking half-ghost for god's sake! You shouldn't exist! You should've died in that portal! God I wish I died in that portal… oh god how I wish I had just died in that portal. I smile for a moment… yes how beautiful that would've been. How beautiful! A vision swirls in my mind; a fantasy that I pray silently could be real.

_A young 14 year old boy steps into his parent's ghost portal… his hands deprived of any bloodshed and fear caress the insides of the portal. His vivid blue eyes, filled with all the innocence of the world, are filled with a fearful wonder. Suddenly, these hands feel a click, and the boy's innocent eyes widen as he sees a button labeled haphazardly "on"._

_He heard a whirring sound, and quickly he realizes the portal must be turning on! He turns to run to the exit, but his clumsy feet snag on a tangle of wires. He falls to the ground, his eyes filled with terror as he looks into the faces of his two shocked friends. Suddenly everything's green, then a light, pain… so much pain… then darkness… sweet darkness…then a better light… a forgiving light… happiness…no more pain…_

I sigh in longing. How beautiful would have that been? But no… I scowl. I don't get such pleasures from the world. Destiny turned what could've been a wonderful experience into a living hell! I can't take it! I could've been dead and happy, but in am imposable feat… I survived… in the worst way possible. I can't gain my old life back… getting rid of my ghost half could only end in trouble…I can say that firsthand. But what if… what if I got rid of my human half…

Same idea really… no more painful human emotions to tie me down.

But could I honestly do that? I could easily justify taking away my ghost half… taking my dead half, easy. But taking my human half… the living half? Killing myself? Committing… suicide? I shudder. It seems like such a wrong thought, crossing through my mind. The thoughts of death themselves do not bother me so… but that word… It is so ominous, so open-ended. So many possibilities…you see them all over the internet, all over T.V. The sleeping pills, hanging, gunshot to the head, driving into a wall, breathing in gas from the stove… So many options…

But no! I can't end my life! It's just so wrong! Ghah! I'm so confused. Life and death, so intertwined, once choice deciding, so close, so far, so easy, so hard, what do I do! AGH!

I stop in mid flight, close my eyes, and turn my head to the sky and scream. I force the scream louder, until my throat is raw. I open my eyes as the scream dies off and notice the green rings echoing from my mouth. I hadn't realized I was using my ghostly wail…

I hear a terrified scream from below. I hear murmurs, and I look down. A mob of people are staring at me, eyes bugged out in fear. One points, another cries out, whispers collide together into a collaborative scream. Snippets of conversations reach my ears.

"He's lost it!"

"The ghost boy is nuts!"

"There isn't a ghost up there he's fighting is there?"

"Is he okay?"

"Is he going to attack us?"

"I knew all these ghosts were nothing but trouble! They should go back to the hellhole they came from!"

"He's a lunatic!"

"I bet he died jumping in front of a car or something… so stupid"

I turn to them with tears down my eyes. The murmurs stop. I wipe away my faintly glowing tears and speak.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

I fly away before they can respond.

I know what I need to do now.

The choice is so easy.

If both Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom are no good…

Then maybe we can at least get rid of one of them…


End file.
